masakit eh... at this stage i often think about those eyes. the look it gave me when we held each other's even for a moment. it was emotionless. cold. and there was something in it i just cant grasp. i saw and i tried to avoid but someone called me back and i didn't know what mad me look into it...
it has been long since i have posted... i just hope no one would understand, or at least that was what i wanted... i dont know why im difficult. why this is difficult. why i can be such a bloody coward... not being able to at least confront all of these... Suan le... but it just dont seem right...
im long ago ashamed of myself... this was what i became... i had to admit now...
im a horrible person... no wonder im alone, some people might say...
kaya siguro di ko matawagan si Rona kasi hindi ko kayang sabihin sa kanya na ganito pala ako... she's my best friend (well aside from the supernatural God)... i had come to terms with that fact, lately... she's the only one that has been able to complete the sentences of my life... im afraid of what will happen and i dont want to be confident with the fact that she isnt like that...
but i wont cry... at least not a living soul would see me cry again... i will not and will ever cry... though im saying this more to my self than here in this blog...
the petty memories came rushing along with the realization that dawned on me when i saw those eyes... for a moment i thought of smiling but it seems that i cant pretend to... it terrifies me every time i remember... but mostly it hurts...
help...
enough...
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