from Insight for Living by Chuck Swindoll
Cultivating a Tender Heart and a Tough Hide
by Charles R. Swindoll
For as long as I have been in the
ministry I have asked the Lord for a balance between a tender heart and
a tough hide. It isn't an easy balance. In fact, the latter is more
difficult to cultivate than the former. In order to be fully engaged in
ministry, job number one is to have a tender heart. The challenge is
developing a tough hide.
Those in ministry are
especially likely to be lightning rods; we are big targets for
criticism. Every passionate pastor, every Christian leader, every
Christian author I know can list a litany of things that have been said
and done against them, many of them unfairly.
What about you? How do you
deal with judgmental remarks, those unkind put-downs made to your face
or, worse, behind your back? When a neighbor mocks your version of
biblical parenting, when that couple in your small group questions
every decision you make, when you find out a fellow Christian that you
thought was your friend has been spreading rumors about you, how do you
respond? Are you tough and tender or do you become brittle and bitter?
Few handle criticism well. But we'd all have to agree, there was one man who handled it with grace and grit.
In Acts 24, Paul is on the
witness stand before Governor Felix while a shady lawyer named
Tertullus pontificates through some trumped-up charges. As you read
along in this chapter, you will notice Paul waits for the smoke to
clear and then calmly steps up to give a defense. Paul's words
illustrate seven ways to maintain a tender heart and a tough hide while
enduring criticism.
Number one: He refused to
be caught up in the emotion of the charges. That's the first mistake we
usually make. Everything in us prefers to lash out, to protest, to cry,
or simply walk out. Paul refused to overreact. His opening line is
disarmingly pleasant, "I cheerfully make my defense."
Cheerfully? By now the man
ought to be blazing with indignation! Even though labeled as "a real
pest" and a ringleader of a cult (see Acts 24:5), Paul graciously
acknowledged the opportunity to make a defense. He refused to let his
emotions take the lead.
When we lower ourselves to
the overcharged emotions of accusers, our anger is unleashed. When that
occurs, straight thinking caves in to irrational responses and
impulsive words. Paul didn't go there.
Number two: He stayed with
the facts. He said, "You can check my record. Twelve days ago I went up
to worship. You can ask those who were there." He reported, "Neither in
the temple, nor in the synagogues, not in the city itself did they find
me carrying on a discussion with anyone or causing a riot. Nor can they
prove to you the charges of which they now accuse me" (Acts 24:11?13).
The apostle never blinked.
He stood his ground with stubborn facts. That strategy not only kept
him on target, it enhanced his credibility in the eyes of Governor
Felix.
Number three: He told the
truth with a clear conscience. Paul stated, "But this I admit to you .
. . I do serve the God of our fathers . . . I also do my best to
maintain always a blameless conscience . . . both before God and before
men" (Acts 24:14?16).
There is nothing like a
clean conscience. It not only helps you sleep well, it keeps you
thinking clearly. You have no fear that some skeleton will rattle when
the investigation begins . . . because there is no skeleton!
Number four: He identified
the original source of the criticism. Few things are more maddening
than shadowboxing when you're dealing with criticism. One of the worst
things you can do is to spread the venom to a number of other
people—your children, your parents, your friends, or a group of other
Christians—rather than going to the original source of contention and
addressing it. You need a tough hide to do that.
Number five: He would not
surrender or quit. I love that about Paul. He's like a pit bull on your
ankle; he won't let go! Take a moment to read 2 Corinthians 11:23?33.
Beaten, bloodied, shipwrecked, harassed, endangered, run out of town,
and falsely accused, Paul didn't give up, let up, or shut up.
Number six: He did not
become impatient or bitter. For two years Paul had been waiting for
this trial. Did you know that? Yet we see no sign of bitterness. No
impatience. No grudges. No ranting against the Roman authorities. Paul
believed God was firmly in control of both people and events.
Number seven: He stood on
the promise of God. You know what flashed through my mind when I read
this passage in Acts 24? A song I've sung in church since I was just a
kid in Sunday school.
Standing on the promises that cannot fail, |
Someone has said that there are over 7,000 promises in the Bible. Have you claimed one this past week? Two? Do I hear five?
How did Paul handle
criticism? He refused to get caught up in the emotion of the charges.
He stayed with the facts. He told the truth with a clear conscience. He
identified the original source of the accusations. He refused to
surrender or quit. He became neither impatient nor bitter. He stood on
the promise of God. Is that great or what? And it's all from the Bible.
You can do every one of those seven. If you want a tender heart and a
tough hide when enduring criticism, you must do them. So must I.
1R. Kelso Carter, "Standing on the Promises" in The Celebratoin Hymnal (Word Music/Integrity Music, 1997), no. 410.
No comments:
Post a Comment